Love this: I believe all people, when invited to build authentic relationships, will reject false narratives about their neighbors when their own experience runs counter to their unfounded assumptions.
Reading this, two words kept surfacing in my mind: risk and efficiency.
So many people, simply by their existence, are at risk of experiencing hate from others. To find community among people who accept you, you have to take the risk of being in situations where you'll experience this hate. I'm using "hate" here to cover all forms of dismissal: scorn, condescension, intentional ignoring, etc.
Taking that risk isn't efficient. In your story, you went to two services in one morning. That's not an efficient use of time when you could have just asked the leader of the Methodist church to coffee. But if you had taken the efficient route, you would have missed out on meeting someone who became a life-altering friend.
Hand-pulling stilt grass isn't efficient. But the efficient removal method would have killed what you wanted to thrive. Being in a relationship isn't efficient; the person always wants your attention at the most inconvenient time. Travel isn't efficient, but the experiences of travel often create a more satisfying life than making the efficient choice to stay home.
I wonder if the Western focus on efficiency is how we build our own hell. Perhaps in the 21st century US, the Sabbath of the Bible could be seen as a rebellion against the tyranny of efficiency. Perhaps taking the slower, more relational way is a Sabbath rest. Perhaps taking the time to slow down and notice and assign value to cone flowers among stilt grass is a practice of Sabbath.
Thank you, Wendy. I can’t tell that the acrimony and hate are worse in rural communities they are in other communities,or that they seems more impossible to overcome in one community or another — maybe because I’m just not as familiar with the rural milieu. I hear that hate is taught, and I do know that for the past 40 years there has been a politic of intentionally reinforcing perceptions and a vocabulary of villainizing (rather than “villag-izing”) others. I do believe that we have been “groomed” by systems bigger than we are to fear and hate each other. But I also believe that building genuine community is a challenge, but it is not impossible.
I know from my own engagement communities that the sense of separateness, and the identity of “us” as independent of “them” is an illusion that divides us. It takes the work you are doing to raise our awareness that we need each other, that we are incomplete without each other, that building/rebuilding the deep community (the “beloved community”) of human to human relationships, and that what unites us is greater than what divides us.
Thank you for identifying community as the answer, whenever and wherever it can be kindled. Community that is both the result of intention and risky work, and also the result of grace and surprise, and of our inherent need to connect. And… of faith that community is possible.
Working with homelessness and a homeless community is one of my most enlightening examples of community building. I wasn’t looking for a homeless community to work with, but COVID brought us together. I always thought of my homeless neighbors who hung out together as a community, but I watched as they transformed from what was actually a dysfunctional family, ostracized from society, into a genuine community that was close enough and strong enough to stand toe-to-toe with the local political leaders. They came to believe that genuine community was possible, and equally, that ending homelessness was possible. Now they are looking toward building community with the town folks that have relegated them to the streets, because they understand that “we are all just walking each other home.”
Thank you for inviting me to join you on this journey home, and to enkindle that faith in others.
Beautifully said! I do feel a very different spirit in rural than in urban which was very different than suburban. It’s hard to name. There is beauty and shadow in them all. I have experienced genuine community in them all which is what made them all sacred places. This context question is something we should explore more deeply in our book group. Thanks for being on this journey with me!
Love this: I believe all people, when invited to build authentic relationships, will reject false narratives about their neighbors when their own experience runs counter to their unfounded assumptions.
So enjoyed meeting you yesterday!
Reading this, two words kept surfacing in my mind: risk and efficiency.
So many people, simply by their existence, are at risk of experiencing hate from others. To find community among people who accept you, you have to take the risk of being in situations where you'll experience this hate. I'm using "hate" here to cover all forms of dismissal: scorn, condescension, intentional ignoring, etc.
Taking that risk isn't efficient. In your story, you went to two services in one morning. That's not an efficient use of time when you could have just asked the leader of the Methodist church to coffee. But if you had taken the efficient route, you would have missed out on meeting someone who became a life-altering friend.
Hand-pulling stilt grass isn't efficient. But the efficient removal method would have killed what you wanted to thrive. Being in a relationship isn't efficient; the person always wants your attention at the most inconvenient time. Travel isn't efficient, but the experiences of travel often create a more satisfying life than making the efficient choice to stay home.
I wonder if the Western focus on efficiency is how we build our own hell. Perhaps in the 21st century US, the Sabbath of the Bible could be seen as a rebellion against the tyranny of efficiency. Perhaps taking the slower, more relational way is a Sabbath rest. Perhaps taking the time to slow down and notice and assign value to cone flowers among stilt grass is a practice of Sabbath.
We need to explore this together. Perhaps a topic for our June book club gathering?
Oh wow, I love this!!! Especially, rebellion against the tyranny of efficiency.
Thank you, Wendy. I can’t tell that the acrimony and hate are worse in rural communities they are in other communities,or that they seems more impossible to overcome in one community or another — maybe because I’m just not as familiar with the rural milieu. I hear that hate is taught, and I do know that for the past 40 years there has been a politic of intentionally reinforcing perceptions and a vocabulary of villainizing (rather than “villag-izing”) others. I do believe that we have been “groomed” by systems bigger than we are to fear and hate each other. But I also believe that building genuine community is a challenge, but it is not impossible.
I know from my own engagement communities that the sense of separateness, and the identity of “us” as independent of “them” is an illusion that divides us. It takes the work you are doing to raise our awareness that we need each other, that we are incomplete without each other, that building/rebuilding the deep community (the “beloved community”) of human to human relationships, and that what unites us is greater than what divides us.
Thank you for identifying community as the answer, whenever and wherever it can be kindled. Community that is both the result of intention and risky work, and also the result of grace and surprise, and of our inherent need to connect. And… of faith that community is possible.
Working with homelessness and a homeless community is one of my most enlightening examples of community building. I wasn’t looking for a homeless community to work with, but COVID brought us together. I always thought of my homeless neighbors who hung out together as a community, but I watched as they transformed from what was actually a dysfunctional family, ostracized from society, into a genuine community that was close enough and strong enough to stand toe-to-toe with the local political leaders. They came to believe that genuine community was possible, and equally, that ending homelessness was possible. Now they are looking toward building community with the town folks that have relegated them to the streets, because they understand that “we are all just walking each other home.”
Thank you for inviting me to join you on this journey home, and to enkindle that faith in others.
Beautifully said! I do feel a very different spirit in rural than in urban which was very different than suburban. It’s hard to name. There is beauty and shadow in them all. I have experienced genuine community in them all which is what made them all sacred places. This context question is something we should explore more deeply in our book group. Thanks for being on this journey with me!